Welchome To The @LosPollosTV Show Featuring @SpecificGP

BEFORE I BEGIN…

 

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After my last post aka my visit to CaldyVille I was abducted by the Caldy Clux Clan, b. They whipped PS4 cords across my back & forced me to apologize for slandering Caldy’s Johnny Bravo jeans. Long story short, I broke the braces they had on my legs like Forrest Gump & Usain Bolted my way off the Calderon plantation. If anybody spots Caldy or his Crash Bandicoot denim, please contact the authorities. So, that explains my disappearance. Now let’s move along…

 

The summer is finally amongst us. A lot of you have finished school & the LAST thing some of you wanna do is READ. All that damn studying for exams & shit…i understand. So let’s get this over with…

 

 

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Now, awhile ago I was driving thru these Twitch streets in my DDoS proof vehicle & a lil Home Alone face kid hands me this flyer, telling me to come thru…

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Yo, dog…the Snipe Squad? sounds like a group of bear hunters from Idaho…I’ma still take my chances & come thru though…

 

 

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I Pull Up, I Pull Up, I Pull Up” (Quavo from Migos voice)

 

 

 

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The Twitch theaters showed random highlights of Los Pollos before the actual event took place…until something happened…

 

 

 

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I didn’t even get to dip my chips in the nacho cheese before this popped up, b. Do you wanna know why this occurred? Let’s stroll over to his statistics first. Y’all know the drill!!!

 

  • Name: Los Pollos TV
  • Height: Ariana Grande
  • Weight: Chevrolet Silverado
  • Twitter Followers: 48K+
  • Twitch Followers: 108K+
  • YouTube Subscribers: 50K+

 

HOMIE IS DOING NUMBERS ON THE SOCIAL MEDIA BILLBOARD CHARTS!!!

ALRIGHT NOW BACK TO WHY HIS SHOW WAS CANCELLED…

 

TV Newscast Photo Effect: https://www.tuxpi.com/photo-effects/fake-newscast

My nigga, Los Polar Bear is a DOPE streamer but I swear he has NyQuil pumpin thru his veins, b. His blood type is Anesthesia. My dude be taking superpower naps. Even when he’s streaming in a state of full consciousness, I don’t think he’s fully awake. He’s doing some other form of sleep walking, it’s sleep gaming. He might’ve crushed sleeping pills up & put them in a salt shaker for his meals, yo. At this point, him welching streams isn’t a surprise, it’s a part of human nature. Birds fly, fishes swim, Los welch’s. Get over it, mothafuckas.

 

 

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Los Pollos in human form(left)   Los Pollos in cartoon form(right)

 

 

Now… I’ma cover something that has his fingers doing a 9 to 5 on the block button, daily. Let’s see the kind of shit that wakes up a sleeping giant.

 

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You wanna know what the people he’s talking about look like? scroll down…

 

 

Keep scrolling….

 

 

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Where do I really start with these lil rascals yo? The list is so vast & endless that the NY Knicks would probably have 6 NBA titles by the time I finish, b. These lil chicken nugget niggas be riding their go karts thru the Twitch neighborhoods waaay past midnight, throwing eggs at the houses they’ve subscribed to live in. Los’ property is HIGHLY targeted on a daily basis. Funnily, the majority of these niggas pay $4.99 a month to rent a room in his Twitch Resorts, just to spray paint “Tubby” all over the walls. It’s what I call Twitch Treason.

 

You wanna know what’s even more funny? Scroll down…

 

 

 

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NAH, NOT THAT PIC…KEEP SCROLLING…

 

 

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“dUDe Ur 5’4 aNd yELL aT A CoMpUTeR ScReEN i wOuLd Kn0cK U Tf OuT IrL”

 

Los can tie a rope around his waist and pull a sunken ship from the bottom of an ocean, b. You don’t want free smoke with a bearded Guido of that nature. Italians DO NOT PLAY. Go run up on one in real life & try to put your hands on them. I bet your mama will get them same hands in the mail. 

 

 

Ayo outside of streaming, Los Polyester is a decent ball player. If you missed it, let’s wipe the dust off some old tapes & show where Raymond Welchton also flourishes…

 

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On February 11, 2017, an Italian & Cuban met in the mean streets of NY & shockingly they weren’t exchanging brief cases full of cocaine.

Dog….DOG…this video is basically just 15 mins of Los Polygon practicing his layups & dribbles while NaDexe embarrassingly chased him around the court dressed like a street magician. Let’s all take a gander at some screen shots from this bone chillin’ footage…

 

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I need a handwritten police report from the NYPD explaining to me why they didn’t blitz the court moments after NaDexe revealed his jump shot, b. He should face the same consequences as a nigga who pulls a gun out at a crowded concert.

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Los delivered a sneaky move & NaDexe‘ lower limbs immediately started doing leg sweeps from old Mortal Kombat games.

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Now behind the scenes of these popular Twitch streamers there’s always someone handling the technical difficulties. So let’s meet a very VERY spooky character…

 

 

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Do y’all recognize him? Behind the Doris Burke lenses, he has a skin crawling rapist look in his eyes…No? Don’t know who this? Let’s introduce him…

 

 

SpecificGP AKA King Latifah

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Im not sure which Pokemon this nigga evolved from or what ancient cave he dwelled in as a child but more importantly, he’s Los’ right hand man. He may dress & look like an evicted tenant but don’t let that fool you. He’s the conductor that helps keep the Los train from derailing off track. When homie isn’t managing the Los empire he’s probably carving his own chess pieces or solving Rubix cubes in under 30 secs. I’m going to tread lightly because he has the bulky computer hacker glasses & I don’t want him to make my router do the harlem shake, b. Matter of fact, I’m not even sure why I mentioned him. Let me stop before he treats my modem like hickory bacon at Ihop. All my love, my pal.

 

 

 

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Los being forced to take a pic with Chris Jericho & two Euro League Barcelona ball players. 

 

 

Alright, well I’m out of here. Check out Los Pollos TV on Twitch if you want some high quality entertainment. I GUARANTEED you won’t be disappointed. He’s actually a good guy, don’t let the stream rages or Twitter rants deceive you.

 

By the way, don’t worry about why I wrote this either, worry about why ya aunt had a Clyde Drexler mustache for 10 summers

 

Sincerely,

Pric…….AHHHHHHHHHHHHH…..NOBODY FUCKIN CARES

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Published by: Price.

About me?? Pssshhh...I'm laying in a hammock eating a homemade pie baked by someone's lovely aunt. Once she passes her typing classes i'll let her edit this section. So she can let y'all know how much of a heart throb I am to her.

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